It takes a lot of guts to say my marriage needs help, and actually go out there and look for ways to help it. Most people would rather just let things go, and wait to see if things were going to change for the better.I was like you…I knew that my marriage needed help, and so I set out to help it.Here’s 3 of the top things that I did…1. The most important thing that I did was realize that I had to steer the situation. Most people who say “my marriage needs help” is actually saying “my spouse needs to change”. It was difficult but I learned that I was the one that need to change, and only then might (might being the keyword) my wife change.To be honest, after a while, I realized that though she did change a bit, she really didn’t have to change as much as I did. She was only reacting to me, she just wasn’t doing so the way I wanted her to. When I gave her more positive things to react to, what do you know…she reacted more positively! Strange how that happens.2. I learned to think before I spoke. I paid attention to some very good advice in a book I read that told me to think before I spoke each and every time. I believe that Benjamin Franklin and Abraham Lincoln were also great proponents of this as well. It can be very hard, but doing so can do wonders for any relationship.We say so much stuff that we don’t mean. We hurt people so often because we don’t stop before we speak and think about the effect what we say is going to have. Doing so has changed not only my life, but my marriage as well.3. When I first realized that my marriage needs help, I began to seek that help. Honestly I didn’t want to sit in front of some marriage counselor who I believed probably had just about as bad of a marriage as I had. The chances, according to divorce statistics was that there was a 50% chance that they would have a bad marriage.I therefore began seeking out advice of people who have been there done that. It was a great decision. But not only that I also learned to communicate by studying other areas of life, outside of marriage. This helped profoundly.
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